A Need
by StarrGoddess
Summary: Wanting was for those who already had…wasn’t it? I did not have, so therefore I did not want…but there was one thing I needed. AU SessRin Prologue to possible story.


"A Need"

Prologue

I do not own Inuyasha.

I still remember the day perfectly.

I'd been young, so terribly young, and so lost in life. Terrified and on the brink of hopelessness. I was only ten and yet I felt fifty. I was tired, and confused, and so close to giving up. I was innocence impersonated, and yet I wasn't. I understood, but I didn't. I never tried thinking ahead into the future more than a few short moments and I surrendered the thought of pining for anything many years before. Wanting was for those who already had…wasn't it? I did not have, so therefore I did not want…but there was one thing I _needed_. It was one of my favorite topics to dissect in my mind. It was a feeling so raw it hurt. It was as if not having this _thing_, would be my demise. It was silly. All you really need to survive is food, water, and a basic shield from the cold right? …Right?

When those men surrounded me that night like a pack of wolves would prey, I didn't protest. I didn't run. And I most certainly didn't cry. I_ never _cry. It's one of my only strengths, and I take pride in that control.

When my tattered 'clothing' had been ripped off and exposed to the icy breath of winter, and to the hungry, sick eyes of my attackers, I didn't shiver. The cold had already numbed my skin. So when their hands roughly assaulted my body, I couldn't help being thankful for the blessing that I had been bestowed with.

I couldn't tell if they were happy because I was cooperating so well for them, or angry because I presented no challenge, and was the equivalent to just a skinny, pale ragdoll, but when I looked into each of their eyes, I felt no bitterness towards them. They were obviously not right in the mind, and had troubles of their own. In fact, in a sick way it was almost like I had made…_friends_. People who I could relate to.

I didn't understand what was being done. I watched with a slight pang of sadness as my body crumpled under their doings, but I knew it would eventually be over whether I made it through or not.

It was when I felt the one man's hand on a spot of my body I dared never explore that I became slightly frightened.

'_Why wasn't it numb anymore?__'_

His hands were suddenly so cold, and my body a thousand times frailer. The realization hit me like a slap in the face.

I didn't want this.

I needed to defend myself.

My attempt at struggling was laughable, and indeed, I did gain a few chuckles from my audience.

And I couldn't help but agree with them. I was pathetic, and incapable of anything.

_'Just a little defenseless orphan.'_

I wanted to scream, but all I got was a dry whimper.

It didn't bother me that my body was being physically harmed; I just wanted a chance to prove that I could put up a fight. That I wasn't _so_ incapable. But the truth was..I wasn't capable. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't prevent my parents deaths. I could barely keep myself alive. I really was a _nothing_.

And with that thought, unconsciousness engulfed my exhausted, frost-bitten body as I stared up at the three blurry figures in front of me.

--

I'd never been in a state of unconsciousness before, so coming to was a new experience. Before I even opened my eyes, it was a shock to realize I was still alive.

I then felt the unbearable ache that roared throughout my entire body and decided idly, that maybe that life wasn't the most generous fate.

Except I came to another realization.

I wasn't cold.

In fact…I..was almost..warm.

I slammed my eyelids open to gold.

----

Hmm! Well, first off...I'm not a very big anime watcher. So that's why this is AU, so I don't butcher any plots from the actual story. And not to worry this is JUST a prologue to see if people like it enough for me to have the motivation to bring it anywhere. I haven't written anything for a while, so I was suprised when I felt the urge to write. Especially since poetry is more of my thing, but maybe possibly, people may want this to be blown up into a full out story?

OH and btw. This is obviously Rin in first person. And this whole 'prologue' is more of a flashback.

You tell me! Overly depressing? Horrible attempt? Ok? Decent? Yuck, you suck. Really, just don't try?

Reviews will be VERY appreciated even though it's terribly short.

As well as constructive criticism!!

WHOOT.

Oodles of love,

Starrgoddess


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